1. Have a sheer drop at the side of the slope. Get the turn wrong in the snow centre and you bash into a wall. Forget to turn and you hurtle into the wall at the bottom. Get it wrong on the slopes and you could disappear off the side of a mountain and be eaten by wolves.
2. Have a wind and fog machine to suddenly reduce visability to zero and blow you whichever way it chooses. Where is that drop again?
3. Have people zoom past at a hundred miles an hour missing you by centimetres as you stand rooted to the spot wondering how you are ever going to get down alive.
4. Have a bar at the top of the slope. Drunk people hurtling past is even more realistic. And a bit of dutch courage could be just what you need!
They say you learn something new every day. Here are some things I learned at Glastonbury 2015:
- Baby wipes are your friend but they don’t taste very nice.
- Weather apps lie.
- Lionel Ritchie is, a) popular, and b) American.
- The stinky unwashed feeling eases after a few days.
- A pint of Brothers cider is cheaper than potato wedges.
- A bit of mud never harmed anyone.
- If a sign says don’t enter, do enter. Especially if a mud caked Irish man guards the entrance while hurling abuse in a friendly manner.
- Cardboard shewees are not to be trusted.
- Backwards is forwards, up is down, and fun is to be found in the rabbit hole.
- Holding an inflatable sperm high in the air while navigating the crowds is an effective way of keeping a group together.
- Glastonbury rocks!
As far as unfortunate events go, Lemony Snicket has nothing on Knoxie.
We hadn’t even left St Pancras, on our way to Bruges, and Knoxie had already been frisked, followed a long haired man into the gents, got trapped in the train coach door and got a mayonnaise elbow after resting her arm in a sandwich!
Let’s hope her luck improves!
BURNING MAN
Burning Man festival is amazing for so many reasons. The experience means different things to different people but here are my four favorite reasons to go to the burn.
Trials and tribulations of sunflowers
Sunflowers and Stories 